Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
