she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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