I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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