Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
