mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i think i have herpe
just one?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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