you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
