And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
