I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
wow bdsm is so cute
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
