new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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