ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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