you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Go christen that room with your naked body.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
