Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
