i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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