this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Success! We fucked roommates!