Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
please come you make the beer taste better
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if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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