"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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