Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
