i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
