Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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