I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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