And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
