i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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