that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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