OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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