I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
