Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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