so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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