dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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