Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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