Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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