guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
