i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
