So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
