He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
vagina is talking i cant
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Im just a social blackout drinker.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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