Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
