i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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