Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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