Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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