my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
