Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
