Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize