I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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