they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
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