similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
