We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
We talked him into tasing himself.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
