I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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