How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
