What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
