His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
