I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
do herpes really smell.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
