I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
