Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
