Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
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Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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