It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
