you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
