I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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