and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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