well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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