Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
