we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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