I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Did I show you my penis last night?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
