I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
