took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
