Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
