Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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