craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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